


Stay, Don't Go

by MissEmmanuelle



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Sweethearts, F/M, Jonsa Summer Challenge, Mutual Pining, Reconciliation, Trigger - Miscarriage, celebration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissEmmanuelle/pseuds/MissEmmanuelle
Summary: Jon returns home to the North but his past with Sansa still haunts him. But he wants to make amends.Jonsa Summer Challenge: Day 2 - Celebration





	Stay, Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet fluff. Please heed trigger warning: miscarriage

“Sooo.. I’m engaged,” Arya chimed casually as she she entered the room where Sansa was folding her laundry.

“Huh? Sorry… Did you want something?” Sansa looked up from her pile seeing someone approach from her peripheral and her ears registered Arya mouthing something to her. Her day had gone in a daze, her eyes swollen from crying the whole afternoon. Sansa was a walking zombie.

“I said, I’m getting engag-.. Sansa, what happened to you?” Arya moved closer to repeat herself but stopped when she saw her sister’s puffy blue eyes glistening with tears. It had only been a month since she returned home to spend the summer with the family and Gendry - and it was already the second time she caught Sansa crying her eyes out. Arya had been meaning to check in with her but catching up with old friends had taken up most of her time.

Sansa fiddled with the t shirt she had been folding mindlessly over and over again and looked at Arya. Her quivering lips told Arya enough.

“Wh..What did he do? Tell me! I’ll kill him!”

Sansa shook her head and it was as if a dam broke within her, releasing the torrential flood of tears she was desperately trying to contain. Arya reached out and held her older sister, who was now sobbing in her arms. 

_Well, I know who to look for now. He’s so fucking dead._

“It’s over… I caught him.. in bed! Our bed! It’s over.. I can’t do this anymore and keep getting hurt,” Sansa said in between sobs. Arya felt her whole body tense and stiffen with rage. She knew that Harry was a good for nothing playboy. The only good thing about him was his family name and apart from it, he was utter trash and treated Sansa as such. Arya was relieved to hear it was finally over. Sansa deserved better than Harry.

“He’s an asshole who shouldn’t live, that prick! I so badly want to beat him up right now! If Robb and Jon heard what he did, Harry’s toast!” Arya exclaimed in a fit of anger. Sansa wiped away her tears and could only sob at her flustered petite little sister .

“Jon? Jon is… here?” Sansa blinked trying to make sure she heard Arya correctly. She hadn’t heard that name since she graduated from university. Sansa wiped away her tears, which stopped all of a sudden somehow. _Jon_.  _Where have you been?_

“Yeah?” a familiar voice rang in and there he was. Standing in the flesh, dressed in her favourite black leather jacket and dark jeans, unruly black curls framing his solemn face with  dark grey eyes suddenly watching her. Just as she remembered him.

“Jon! I didn’t hear you come in, stop creeping up on people for fuck’s sake,” Arya huffed and frowned as Jon cautiously stepped in.

“Sansa… are you all right? What happened?” Jon closed the gap between them and knelt down by the bed she was sitting on. Sansa suddenly felt her breath hitch as she watched Jon move closer to her.

“Harry’s been cheating on her and Sansa left his sorry ass, that’s why! Ugh.. Good riddance, I say!” Arya ranted on Sansa’s behalf, clueless to the sudden tension creeping up in the midst. 

“Jon…You’re here… when did you arrive?” Sansa finally found words in her mouth, their eyes never once parted from each other’s.  _He looks the same. God, I miss him._

“A couple of hours ago… Just thought I’d drop by here when I got Arya’s text… You look… Great,” Jon’s raspy voice was honey to her ears. It was home. He was home. He had always been to her, if only she had the courage to find him and tell him that years ago instead of running into the arms of the next man who showered her with the attention she starved for. She had always wished it was Jon. She had always known, deep down that she could never love Harry and that he was a poor replacement of the one she thought she couldn’t have. 

Sansa forgot why she was bawling in the first place. _Right, Harry._

“Well… I guess I’ll let you two catch up. See you at dinner, guys,” Arya finally took notice of the curious exchange between Sansa and Jon. It was beyond her understanding whatever it was, underneath all of that tension between them, every time they were in a room together. For all she knew, Jon had always been a close friend of the family’s and the first to welcome Gendry like a brother, but the strange behaviour Sansa exhibited whenever Jon was around was something Arya couldnt quite figure out. And Sansa hadn’t mentioned anything at all about Jon, she barely even spoke about him and they told each other _everything_. Besides, Jon wasn’t exactly Sansa’s type to begin with and neither was Sansa Jon’s.  _Well, she is a redhead.._

Arya shrugged off the coincidence and left the room. There was much to discuss and plan now that the wedding was in four months. Sansa would be the perfect maid of honour but Arya supposed it wasn’t an appropriate time to ask her yet. She was confident Sansa would say yes, however seeing how all this wedding business was solely Sansa’s territory. Arya was more than happy to follow her big sister’s lead when it came to all of it. Jon and Sansa glanced briefly at Arya as she took her leave.

Sansa looked down, wishing she had something interesting to say or make small talk but all she could think of was one question.  _Where did you go? I needed you. You left and never came back._

“Sansa… I’m sorry I should have called earlier. I didn’t mean to disturb you, I just wanted to say hi to Arya… You look amazing, Sansa. And I’m sorry about Harry. Are you feeling all right?”

Sansa shut her eyes tight, wishing the memories hadn’t assaulted her mind’s eye the moment Arya left Jon and her in the bedroom alone. That summer three years ago, that tree house they once played in as kids, the storm that night that left them in the dark… It all came flooding back.

“You left. You never came back, Jon. I… I waited for you. You never came back,” Sansa whispered, looking up to see Jon watching her intently.

The silence was stifling. Jon wasn’t quite ready, his mind screamed at him to go but his heart knew he wanted to stay. He didn’t know how to tell her how he typed and deleted a few hundred texts he had meant to send her but never did; how his fingers constantly lingered over her name on his phone, just to hear her voice; how he wished he was there with her by her hospital bed when she lost their baby.  _Oh god, the baby…_

_I’m sorry, Sansa that I wasn’t there. I’m sorry we lost the baby. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’m sorry I’m such a coward. God, forgive me Sansa because I can never forgive myself._

It echoed in his mind over and over again, the words he yearned to tell her. But now, three years later, after that night when she gave herself to him and himself to her, though unwittingly leaving a part of him behind -  deemed too little, too late. They promised each other that nobody would know, their secret love was theirs and theirs alone. That they would give everything of themselves to each other. Heart, body and soul. She was his first and he was hers, he loved her the first moment he laid eyes on her; that fiery auburn mane and pale blue eyes he was so mesmerized by even as a child growing up just next door to her. 

* * *

_“I’ll marry you, one day, I know it, Sansa Stark!” Jon exclaimed as he stepped down the ladder of the tree house, bidding goodbye to Sansa who was giggling at him.  
_

_“Don’t be silly! You can’t! You have to be my boyfriend first!” Sansa chuckled gleefully at Jon’s skinny six year old legs dangling from the wooden rungs as he climbed down from their favourite hideout. Jon smiled at her. He would one day, Sansa was meant for him._

* * *

“Sansa… I.. I couldn’t face you after all… that. I’m sorry. Oh god, please forgive me. I missed you so much. So, so much,” Jon finally said in a wavering voice that almost gave way to sobs. Jon fought hard to hold back.

Sansa hastily wiped away a tear. It was good to have him back again. Whatever that happened, it was all in the past now. It was all for the better, Sansa could not imagine her life as a young mother, though having Jon as hers was always something she had always wanted; but not in that particular circumstance. She did not want to force Jon to be with her, no matter how much she knew how fiercely they both loved each other and how his honour would dictate him to drop everything he had going for him and stay by her side always. But alas, though a beautiful dream to have and to hold, a  baby wasn’t the proper way to start their lives together. _It wasn’t time yet._

_He was scared, just as I was. But he’s back now and that’s all that matters._

“Jon… Listen to me. It happened. I didn’t know.. I didn’t know about the baby. I swear, I didn’t and I wanted to tell you. I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t want to… It just happened.. It was unfortunate. It just wasn’t the right time,” Sansa reached out, finally finding the courage to grasp his hand in hers. 

_I was asked to leave, Sansa. I wish I could tell you.. Your mother told me to leave you alone and never come back. And I did it only because I thought it was the right thing to do. You were going to graduate and you were going to have this amazing whole life ahead of you. I didn’t want to be in your way. I loved you so much, it broke me but I didn’t know what I was doing. All I could do was leave. It was the easier choice, but oh god, the pain.. I was a fool._

Jon opened his mouth to confess what he had in mind, but paused when he figured it probably didn’t matter now. Whatever obstacle that stood between them, his path would always lead him back to her. It was time to acknowledge and accept it. His heart and mind would be at peace at last.

“No, please, Sansa… I don’t blame you at all. I only blame myself. Sansa, I love you and I always have. I still do so very much and I think about you and us all the time since then. Sansa… I’ve always been yours, you know that.”

Sansa could only press her lips onto his in response. He tasted mildly of ale, as her lips parted and her tongue sought his.  _Gods, how I missed him._

“And I’m yours. Jon… Stay. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me again,” Sansa pleaded as she pressed her forehead on his. 

Jon ran his fingers along the sides of her face, feeling the soft skin he longed to touch ever since the day he packed for Dorne. He didn’t say goodbye, all he left was a kiss on her forehead as she laid sleeping peacefully in her ward. That was his goodbye. And he hated himself for far too long for it. It was time to make amends now.

“Never. Never again.”


End file.
